We jumped into the time gate that was marked for 1,000 AD and the next thing I knew we popped out of a closet into a room with some imps. Well, well, well, I bet this isn't my hometown and with my luck it's probably not even my time period. I really really hate my life.
The imps informed us that we were in a village of Mystics who weren't too fond of humans. They also said that an old man lived at the outskirts of town who was human. I decided to take their advice and avoid the town and go see who the old man was. Maybe he could help us.
I saw a huge light shining in the Mystic town square and my curiosity got the best of me. It was a bunch of Mystics circling another statue of that big guy we saw in the church back in 600 AD and chanting like a bunch of freaks. One of them said that Lavos was created by him and that his name was Magus. Surely if he was powerful enough to create that big thing that destroyed most of the planet in the future he was capable of removing my curse. I would definitely have to go see him. Another one of the Mystics said something about a huge magic beast in a cave out west. Maybe if the old man can't help us I'll go see this Heckran thing.
At the old man's house he just wanted to sell us weapons. He was no help at all. We left and went into the cave to try to track down Heckran. Halfway through the cave the sound of Marle's whiny voice was starting to get on my nerves. She was complaining about the cave being too damp and her hair needing shampoo and I really wanted to strangle her. I should have just left her at the end of time and brought Robo in the first place.
Magically, before my eyes Marle disintegrated and Robo appeared. I stumbled backwards and fell on the ground. Robo looked around at the cave and seemed a little confused. I thought for a second and figured I would try something.
I sure wish Marle were here instead of Lucca. Lucca disappeared and Marle appeared where Lucca had been standing. Wow! When did I get these types of powers?!!! Hey, even though I'm cursed, maybe I can make the best of it for now.
I sure wish a hot young blond with no clothes on was here instead of Robo............................damn.................. nothing. Well, even the great ones have limitations. I snapped my fingers and replaced Marle with Lucca.
We were finding our way through the cave pretty well and I noticed a waterfall with a pool at the bottom. I looked at Robo, who wasn't fond of water, snapped my fingers and he disappeared just as Marle appeared in his place. Not only did I like it when girls got their clothes all wet, but Lucca and Marle still hadn't had a bath in days. They were no longer women at all and instead they were these nasty, smelly things.
I grabbed Marle by the hair and threw her into the waterfall. She floated down into the pool. I looked at Lucca and pointed at the waterfall and she nodded her head before jumping in. I decided to walk down to the bottom.
What little bit of a bath they had managed to have, turned them back into women for the moment and we kept going through the cave. Marle's poofy pants looked kinda funny after they were soaking wet.
We arrived at the back of the cave and I could see a huge beast with claws coming towards us.
"Death to the Mystics enemies," said Heckran. Oh boy. Another fight.
I ran at Heckran and stabbed him with my sword, but he just brushed me aside like a rag doll. This guy was going to be tough. Lucca and Marle decided to try out some of their new magic and they knocked Heckran back against the cave.
Wow! For the first time ever they were more useful than I was! I decided to try out my magic and it did just as well. OK, so they're equally as useful as I am in this battle. Heckran was stumbling around trying to figure out what to do after being burned, frozen and electrocuted.
We each got him once more and he fell down on the ground while mumbling something about Magus creating Lavos and failing to destroy humanity. Amazing! The first really tough enemy we fight after learning how to use magic is only susceptible to magic. I mean what are the odds?!!!
At the end of the cave was a whirlpool. I tossed Marle in to test it and see if she was ok. I didn't see where she went, but since death was no big thing with me and Lucca, we jumped in, too. We popped out of the water right next to Lucca's house. We were finally home. Except for Robo, who has no home, because he's a robot and no one loves him.
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