As we entered the castle gates, I felt a cool breeze behind me. For the first time in my life I was with a girl that I truly cared about aside from just friendship. This relationship went beyond physical attraction as well. It was something special and I was never going to let anything get in the way. I was a little nervous about meeting her father, especially since he was the king, but once I told him how I felt about his daughter I knew we would become fast friends.
The guards looked at us strangely as we entered and the chancellor burst out of the throne room and came towards us. "Terrorist," he yelled. "You're trying to confuse princess Nadia and take over the throne! Admit it!" As the guards carried me off and the chancellor changed the terrorist alert level to orange I thought it was odd that they let me hang onto my sword and all of my items.
At the trial, the little girl I kicked in the shins testified against me along with the guy whose lunch I ate and practically every person who was at the fair the day I met Marle. I didn't realize we were the main attraction what with that stupid singing robot and the humpomatic bell ringing game. They found me guilty and I was sentenced to death.
I sat in my cell for awhile huffing the ether that the townspeople had sent me. Damn, I should have gone to prison a long time ago. I was floating way up in the sky and there was nothing that was ever going to bring me down. One thing was for sure. Marle can kiss my ass. She's one high maintenance tramp and I think I'll start looking elsewhere. If I get the chance I'm gonna tell her daddy about the time we spent in the forest together.
I still had my sword, oddly enough, and I was so high that I started banging on the prison bars in confusion. The guards finally got mad and opened my cell. The next thing I remembered, the guard was passed out on the floor of my cell. I'm not sure if it was me or if he got into my ether, but either way, I stumbled out of the cell where the other guard was at. I stabbed him easily enough and slowly began to stumble my way through the prison.
I wandered around the prison trying to find my way out and I ran into a guy I knew in high school. He was strapped into a guillotine. His name was Fritz and we were pretty good friends back in the day. He smiled at me, obviously with the thought in his head that I was going to let him out. I walked past him and opened a treasure chest. I kept on going into a back room and opened some more treasure chests. Why they were in a prison I don't know, but free stuff is free stuff.
When I came back to where Fritz was I stood over him and started thinking. I was trying to decide whether to release him, or release the guillotine.
"Crono," said Fritz, "will you get me out of this thing?" I returned to the back room and grabbed a whip off of the wall and came back to where Fritz was at.
"What are you going to do with that," said Fritz. "Crono........are you high? Oh, no. Of all the times, aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, damnit Crono!" I had just given him a good slap on the ass with the whip.
"Crono, be serious now! Get me out of this, aiiiiiiiiiiiiii, god damnit Crono!" Fritz wasn't too happy, but I was laughing my ass off. I fell down on the ground and continued to giggle uncontrollably. Fritz looked over at me and rolled his eyes.
"Crono," he said, "if you let me out of this thing I won't be mad at you for the stuff with the whip. I understand. It's all in good fun, but I DON'T WANT TO DIE, DAMNIT!!!!! NOW GET ME OUT OF HERE, AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII, GODDAMNIT CRONO WILL YOU PLEASE STOP DOING THAT!!!!!!!!!"
I finally let him out of the guillotine, although I was still laughing pretty hard. He knocked me down and started rubbing his ass. He stormed out of the room and eventually I managed to stop laughing.
I continued making my way through the prison and finally made it back to the entrance. Just then I heard a slight commotion and I was surprised to see Lucca knocking guards out cold in order to make her way into the prison.
"Hey, Crono," she said. "It looks like you didn't need my help after all." Some top secret documents had fallen on the ground, which is odd as top secret documents would normally not just be lying around on a table somewhere. You'd think they would be more careful with that sort of thing, but I don't really care as it has the potential to benefit me.
It turned out to be some stupid explanation of how to defeat something called a Dragon Tank. What are the chances that we'll run into a tank somewhere in the prison or the castle?
We ran up the steps where Lucca had just come from and began to cross over a long bridge. Halfway across, surprise, surprise, the dragon tank that had been mentioned in the conveniently dropped top secret documents was sitting right in front of us. I can only guess it was lifted in by a helicopter or something, because the door behind it was barely tall enough for me to walk through without bumping my head, while the tank was 10 times bigger than me.
Me and Lucca made short work of it thanks to the conveniently dropped top secret documents. As it exploded it took part of the bridge and I waited for the fall. When a bridge with no support structure anywhere in the middle areas loses part of the central section, the entire bridge should collapse. It's physics.
I was prepared to die, but luckily, this bridge violated the laws of physics and remained in tact.
The chancellor and a few guards were clinging to the edges where the gap was at, creating a makeshift bridge. I smiled as I walked over top of them and left the prison area to return to the castle.
We made our way to the front gate of the castle and the guards were surrounding us. Marle came in wearing one of her rich girl dresses and I sneered at her. She didn't seem to notice, but she ordered the guards to leave me alone, so I can say that she's one step closer to being back in my good graces.
Out of the throne room came the chancellor who I had just left back at the anti-gravity bridge. I was about to point out that there was more than one chancellor when Marle began taking her clothes off. I can say one thing about her, it's hard to stay mad at her.
"Come on, Crono," said Marle, and we left the castle. The guards chased us into the forest and we came to a small clearing. "Looks like a dead end," said Marle. I stared at her in disbelief due to the fact that she was oblivious to the large, glowing, bluish black ball right in front of us. Lucca pointed it out to her and we decided to take a chance. We hopped into the time gate with no fears about our destination.
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