We were no longer in a forest and the room seemed highly civilized. I'd bet money that Marle is too stupid to realize that we can't be anywhere other than the future.
"The chancellor can't find us here," said Marle. Doesn't she mean the chancellors?
"The civilization seems so advanced," said Lucca.
"Like we're in another world," said Marle. Well, we did jump into a time gate Princess Notallthere. How was I ever attracted to this girl? Oh yeah, sex.
We left the Bangor Dome and went south.
"Welcome to the Trann Dome," said an extremly nasty looking guy all dressed in rags. "Got any cash?" I shook my head, not wanting to get robbed, have to insult him by turning down his merchandise, or sit through a show put on by somebody living in the Tranny Dome.
There were only 6 people living there and 5 of them were men who all looked exactly the same. The lone girl was sitting in the fetal position. I didn't want to find out what was going on, so we left and went back north. Whatever time period we were in, the world was extremely, extremely bleak. The dirt was toxic, there were no plants and the air was so polluted that the sun never shined. It's a good thing we stocked up on tonic and ether before we came.
"Damnit," said Lucca. "Another rat just stole a tonic from us!" In spite of my attempts to make my lady friends return to the time gate, they were now dragging me across some sort of ruins with a lot of freaky mutants and thieving rats. Lucca seemed to hate the rats more than I did and Marle had made it her mission in life to stand behind me with her fingernails in my shoulders as if I enjoyed protecting her or something.
I was doing all of the fighting for our group. I got to run up and destroy the enemies with my sword while they stood back and fired a shot here and there. Marle usually missed and then giggled like it was ok. At least Lucca felt bad that I was carrying the whole team. I would trade both of them for that stupid frog we met in the middle ages.
Once we got across the ruins we came to yet another dome and a lot of gross-looking people inside of it. An old man named Doan approached us. He seemed interested in our trip across the ruins. He told us that there was some sort of food storage down a ladder, but they couldn't get to it because of the crazy robot guards.
I guess I got too close to the ladder or something because Doan suddenly said, "are you going down below?"
"Of course," said Marle.
"Gotta try, right," said Lucca. There was no need for me to speak up, although I would have chimed in with, "good luck ladies, I'll be in the Enertron if you need me." I chose to remain silent as usual. I knew they would both die if I didn't go with them.
We made our way through the area and not a single robot had attacked us yet. I was starting to think that Doan might be senile when a huge guardian robot landed on top of us. As was typical for my group, I did most of the fighting. Marle healed me from time to time when things got rough. I guess the girls aren't completely useless. We beat the huge robot and made our way into the storage room.
"Phew, something reeks," said Marle. It was Lucca and Marle. They didn't realize we were leaving on a journey and forgot to pack any tampons or deodorant. Although, Marle sure remembered to bring a bunch of arrows for that worthless crossbow.
"The refrigeration's failed," said Lucca. "Everything's totally rotten." Lucca was trying to play it off like it was the rotten food, but I knew better. They should combine their skank into a doubletech. Maybe then they could contribute in the battles. Marle found a dead guy in the back clutching some seeds and a note that told us to catch a rat that knew a secret.
We caught the rat and he gave us a code for one of the side rooms. I beat a few tonics out of him for the sake of his brothers from the ruins. We entered the coded area and made our way to the back. There was this weird shiny thing with buttons and stuff and a big glass thing in the back.
"Good! The computer's still operational! If we run a search on time warps, we might find our Gate," said Lucca. I was just about to say that, but she beat me to it.
"East of Arris Dome," said Lucca. "That would be Proto Dome, I believe." As long as it's not Tranny Dome it's all good to me.
Marle walked up to the device and said, "what does this button do?" Marle and Lucca watched in horror as they witnessed just what had caused the world to become so bleak. In the year 1999 AD on what would come to be known as "the day of Lavos" some strange creature popped its head onto the surface of the planet and destroyed almost everything.
"Lavos," said Lucca. "Is that what's destroying our world?"
"We must truly be in the future," said Marle.
HA! I was right! Marle just figured out that we were in the future. The domes, the robots, the enertrons and everything else hadn't clued her in. It took a visual record of a day that was obviously from our future in order for her to figure it out. She must be the dumbest woman to have ever walked on the face of the Earth.
"NO WAY," screamed Marle. "I refuse to believe it!" For a second I thought she had been reading my thoughts about her, but then I realized she was talking about Lavos. Yeah, I guess that kinda sucks now that I think about it. It's a good thing we live in 1000 AD where we won't ever have to worry about Lavos. I turned to leave the room, intent on getting my ass over to the time gate.
"This can't be the way the world ends," said Marle. I looked back over my shoulder at Marle, who was on the ground crying. "There's only one thing we can do," said Marle. "We must change history! Just like Crono did when he saved me!" Don't remind me, Marle. If I had it to do over again..........
"Okay, Lucca? Okay, Crono," said Marle. Hmmmmmmmmm, let me see. Marle says there's only one thing we can do, whereas I see about 5 to 10 different options before us. Defeating Lavos and saving the world was the least desirable of my options at the moment, but since Marle and Lucca seemed intent on doing it I felt it was in my best interest to go along. Without Lucca, I'm trapped in this world. I guess I could feign heroism until we get back to 1,000 AD. Then I can ditch these idiots and go home. I can't remember the last time I got some shuteye.
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