When Ozzie fell, the block of ice returned, but it melted away to reveal a familiar face, although not the one I was expecting.
"Old man Melchior," said Frog.
I was a little surprised myself, although not nearly as surprised by the fact that Frog recognized a person he had never met.
"Indeed, I am Melchior," said Melchior. "Have we met before?"
Me, you and Marle have, but you've never met Frog. I am totally confused, too, old man.
"More importantly," he said, "can you tell me anything about the Ocean Palace?"
Well, let's see. It's a palace and it's on the ocean. Should I be more specific?
"I see...the Queen has degenerated to that degree," said Melchior in response to our silence. "The more energy the Mammon Machine absorbs, the further the Queen degenerates."
HEY!!! Don't talk about Queen Milf that way! You're just jealous because you probably can't get anywhere with her. Of course, I never have heard anything about who got her pregnant with those two kids of hers. Maybe it was Melchior and now he's mad because she's done with him. It's only natural to want to banish your ex-husband to a magical floating mountain. She stays young looking with her magic and you're fading away like an old man should. Am I right?
"Her spirit has been stolen by the infamous immortal, Lavos," said Melchior.
When you mess with Fire Big, you get what you get.
The mountain started to crumble and Melchior urged us to climb back down to the village we came from. Just as we climbed down the very first chain, the mountain broke free and plunged into the ocean. It was such a huge crash that the non-stop blizzard ceased just long enough to watch the mountain as it fell.
Back at the village Melchior began informing us of things we already knew about Lavos and his activities underground, consuming the planet, blah, blah, blah.
"If the Mammon Machine is brought closer to him, he may awaken," said Melchior. Now that's what I wanted to hear! How do we make it happen old man?! I'm almost free from my curse, I can feel it!
"We must hurry before it's too late," said Melchior.
Oh, I guess he doesn't want Lavos to awaken. A messenger broke in and brought news of Schala's arrival at the village. She walked in and I found myself swooning again. I pushed Marle under the table.
"Miss Schala," said the village elder, "why have you come to such a miserable place?"
Schala got mad and started talking a line of bull about how all people are equal and stuff everyone knows isn't true. Just then I noticed Janus and he noticed me. I winked at him and he got scared and retreated into a corner.
"The only difference is that we are under Lavos's control," said Schala.
I wish I was Lavos.
"What a filthy hovel," said Janus.
What a turd.
"Melchior," said Schala. "After the Mountain of Woe fell, I thought I would find you here!"
Isn't this the woman that just banished me to another time period? The least she could do is say hello!
"Is it safe for you to leave the palace," said Melchior.
"That no longer matters," said Schala. "The Ocean Palace is now operational!"
"Then all is lost," said Melchior.
If that means Lavos is sure to wake up then point me in that direction old man.
"But without me, the Mammon Machine won't work," said Schala. "I have turned my back on that evil device. I've kept the Skyway open. Hurry! You must stop...my mother!"
Is she talking to Melchior? I think he's too old to......oh, she means us. What a little brat! She finally acknowledges me just to say, "oh, nice to see you again, do you think you could do me a favor and save the world?"
A voice from the room's entrance said, "why don't we keep it right there."
Dalton walked in to the surprise of everyone.
"Tisk, tisk my dear," he said. "Your presence is required elsewhere!"
"Dalton," yelled Melchior, "leave her alone!"
Yeah! Kick his ass, Melchior! This could be a good fight. Dalton just laughed and called Melchior a geezer, which would have been my first move if I was in his shoes. Then, he blasted Melchior with a fireball and slapped Schala in the back of the head.
A few moments ago I might have defended her, but she had made her feelings quite obvious. I was just a tool to be used. She's a princess after all. Spoiled brat. I don't care what she looks like when she's just wearing panties. Alright, in a technical sense I care, but not in the "get Crono to follow orders" kinda way.
"You'll come to the Ocean Palace with me," said Dalton. "Do anything funny, and Schala's dust. Got it?"
I put my arm under my armpit and made fart noises. OK, now turn her into dust like you said. Unless you don't think that's funny.
Dalton just looked at me like I was some sort of freak and Janus darted forward at him. Dalton slapped him back up against the cave wall to my delight.
"The Queen's children all seem to have a problem with authority, don't they," said Dalton.
This guy was pissing me off, although I couldn't care less if he killed both of his hostages. I pulled out my sword and he just said, "stay back. The life of this woman means nothing to me!"
Well, if Schala dies, she can't activate the Mammon Machine and I can't get a jolt from Lavos, so he's got me under control at the moment. I put my sword away and Dalton left with the Queen's children.
"Melchior," said Marle.
"I'm alright," said Melchior. "But we must save Schala or else."
"Impossible," said the village elder. "Even though it's coming from YOU Melchior."
"If the queen is allowed to fulfill her scheme, all life as we know it is doomed," said Melchior. I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head in hopelessness. Why the hell didn't I just stay HOME on that damned day I went to the fair?
"You're willing to challenge the Queen," asked Melchior in surprise.
Not as surprised as I was that my feelings of disinterest were interpreted as a desire to fight the Queen. Actually, I guess the only way to get to Lavos is through the Queen, so why the hell not! I nodded my head yes and Melchior smiled.
"You've done so much for us," said Melchior, "and I don't even know your names!"
And by the time we run into you at the Millenial Fair you'll have already forgotten about us. Kinda makes me think we're about to fail miserably.
"Worry not thine head," said Frog. "Thou hath fixed the Masamune!"
Did I ever tell Frog who fixed it? I don't remember. Maybe somebody told him about it while he was sitting around at the end of time.
"What ARE you talking about," said Melchior.
To be honest, Melchman, I don't really know what the hell is going on.
"Crono," yelled Marle as she jumped up and down, "let's get going!"
"Wait," said Melchior. "Take this with you. It's made from the same red stone as the Mammon Machine. With it, you can destroy the Machine!"
He handed me a ruby knife and we left the village to head back to the floating kingdom. Up the skyways we went and off to stop the Queen. I just hope I can overcome her charms.
If she's anything like her uncaring daughter it won't take much. I'm not just a tool of love to be dragged around and used wherever she needs a hero or a guy to take out the trash. People like that are just about as pathetic as they come.
I was having Marle get into the skyway transporters first to check it out. If the Queen is on to Schala's plans she might have set traps for us.
We waltzed into Zeal Palace and prepared for whatever guards awaited us. The only thing we found were a bunch of those stupid Nu and they didn't even try to stop us. In the throne room we found everybody's favorite stooge, Dalton. He seemed agitated.
"Phooey," yelled Dalton. "Why is the Prophet allowed inside while I'm stuck with guard duty?"
Because you're ugly.
"Ha, there you are," yelled Dalton. "I let the Prophet go, knowing he'd mess up sooner or later. But I've no use for you anymore! You're history."
If by history he meant we would go down in history as kicking his ass with ease, then yes, that's what we are, because all he ever did was throw rocks at us. I pounded on him while Marle and Frog kept us healthy. (yawn)
"N...nooooo," yelled Dalton. "I'm going to be immortal! I CAN'T be beaten now!"
He transported into a gate looking thing and we decided to follow. Ladies first.
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