At one point I tried to cast lightning on Nizbel and I missed and hit Ayla instead. At first, I thought I had sealed my fate as far as getting anywhere with Ayla, but she just ran over to Nizbel and chomped down on him, transfering all of the electricity onto him. She's one tough bitch!
We killed the weak little dinosaur, no thanks to Marle and her crossbow and made our way all the way to Azala's throne room. I figured there would be no more traps and just straight fighting form hereon out, so I dropped her and brought Robo back.
"So...you are here at last," said Azala. "This is it, then. The showdown. Today there shall be a conclusion. Will it be the Reptites, or you silly apes who end up ruling the world?"
Hey, Robo, you don't have to take that. You're a talking rock.
Ayla darted forward, as always with her ass in the air, and said, "strong survive. Ayla strong. Ayla fight!"
A loud growl could be heard behind Azala and I turned and ran towards the door we came in. Robo caught up with me and sat on my face. Why is he always around when I try to run away?!
"Hear that lovely voice," said Azala.
It must be Azala's wife.
"You'll soon become the best of friends," said Azala and he hopped across his throne and out the back door.
Well, he ran away and we won. Let's get out of here, people. You can get off of my face now, Robo. Robo picked me up and carried me over his head as he followed Ayla out the back door. I really hate this robot. I think he's the only one of my friends who seems to know what's actually going on inside my head.
Out the back door Robo set me down and I took a long look at Ayla. Her body, not her face, of course. I knew that I had to fight or else she would go it alone. Then I took a long look across the bridge in front of us to the huge monster at the end.
It was nice knowing you, Ayla.
I tried to run back out the door, but that damn robot was in my way. He just shook his head and pointed forward. I looked back at the Black Tyrano waiting for us and I decided to just face death head on.
I looked at Ayla, who nodded her head and smiled at me. I guess she thinks I want to help her win this war against the Reptites. Well, if I'm going to die, I'm going to die happy.
I grabbed Ayla and leaned her over, giving her the most passionate kiss she had probably ever had. I'm sure that loser Kino hadn't even gotten to 1st base with her. I pulled her back up, turned her around and slapped her on the ass. It was time to fight, Azala!
I took one step forward and then Ayla picked me up and threw me backwards. I collided with Robo and we finally stopped when we bumped into Azala's throne.
Ayla walked back into the room with fire in her eyes and she said, "Crono is pervert! Crono get his butt outside and fight Azala or Ayla throw him off of bridge into lava! Ayla is not just piece of meat! Ayla have feelings and Ayla deserve respect!"
Oh, no! Ayla's a feminist! This whole time she's just been using her sexuality to trick me into helping her fight the Reptites! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! There is no god.
Ayla walked over and gave Robo the same kind of kiss I had just given her as well as a slap on his ass and they walked forward to confront Azala. What the hell? I HOPE she kissed Robo just to contradict the kiss I gave her and I HOPE she thinks that he's some sort of living being, because I know better than to mess with girls that are into mechanical love.
I got up to go fight Azala as I would prefer to be killed by him than Ayla. The Black Tyrano was gigantic. We have no chance, but here goes nothing.
"Red star," said Azala, "fall!!!!!!! Stain the earth...RED!"
He was looking at the star I had noticed awhile ago as if he knew what it was.
"Though it may be our fate to perish, we will not simply hand this world over to you," said Azala. "Mwa ha ha! With this Black Tyrano I can finally exterminate those filthy apes!"
Hey, Robo, you don't have to take that. You're a talking rock.
I ran forward to give Azala a taste of my sword and just before I got within range, Ayla picked me up and threw me into the air. That stupid, prehistorical prostitute just threw me off of the bridge!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Just at that moment I realized that the trajectory had caused me to slam swordfirst into both Azala and the Black Tyrano causing a great deal of damage. I plopped right back down onto the ground in between Ayla and Robo. Phew!
We managed to take Azala out after a lot of attacking, but the Black Tyrano was like a gigantic statue. None of our attacks were getting through. I was starting to think it was hopeless. I looked to my left and right and I noticed that Ayla and Robo were both standing right on the edge of the bridge.
Hmmmmmm, Azala was dead and with one good push I could get rid of these two bozos. I could retreat and not get eaten. I inched closer to Ayla and before I got close enough to push her off the edge a voice told us that the Black Tyrano had removed his defenses in order to store power.
Ayla rushed forward and gave it a good slap on the nose. Finally, we could do some damage. I guess I can put plan B on hold for now. We began to beat the Black Tyrano senseless and just as I thought we were going to take him down, he opened his mouth and breathed wave after wave of flesh-searing fireballs. I looked around and both Robo and Ayla were unconscious. I was stumbling around in a great deal of pain. I needed a kiss from Ayla immediately!
I used some magic I had learned to bring her back to life and the first thing she did was plant a huge wet one on my cheek. Hey, I don't care if she is a feminist. I'm still in love. I brought Robo back to life as well and he sprayed us all down with his healing beam.
No wimpy Black Tyrano was going to do us in.
We went back to kicking ass again and finally with a slash to the face, the Black Tyrano exploded into nothingness. All that was left was Azala, barely clinging to life. I don't think Ayla's gonna give HIM any kisses.
"No," said Azala. "It can't be...! Could the heavens truly have sided with the apes?"
Hey Robo, you don't have to take that. You're a talking-- Robo picked me up and held me over the edge of the bridge. He didn't have to say anything. I knew what he meant. He put me back down and we resumed pointing and laughing at Azala as he slowly died.
"Listen, primates, and let it be known," said Azala. "We Reptites fought bravely to the bitter end!"
"Ayla understand," said Ayla.
For some reason she was pitying him, I guess. A huge flash of fire brought our attention away from Azala and he said, "soon, stones of fire will rain down. Flames shall scorch the land. The burned out plains will slowly freeze, ushering in a long, cruel ice age. Mwa, ha, ha...what a treat! You will wish you went along with us!"
He can see the future, but he wasn't prepared for dealing with the three of us? That makes no sense at all.
"Lavos," said Ayla.
It all became so clear to me. Ayla was the cause of all of this! She was working with Lavos and......no, probably not.
"Lavos," said Robo, "impossible!"
"Ayla's word," said Ayla. "La mean fire. Vos mean big."
You call it Firebig? It would make a lot more sense to call it Bigfire. So all this time we've been calling it Lavos, when it should be called Vosla. How can I continue to fight it when I can't even use correct grammar?
Suddenly, Kino appeared riding our dactyls. Where the hell was he hiding before? I don't even care. Just get me off of this rock.
Ayla tried to get Azala to come with us, but he refused. She probably just wanted to torture him at one of their stupid ape parties. The last thing Azala said as we flew away was that we had no future.
Amazing. He knew what Vosla............jeez, it just sounds too strange. Ahem. He knew what Lavos was going to do long before he even landed here and he even foresaw the destruction of the planet, yet once again, he couldn't manage to prepare a fitting defense system against me, Ayla and Robo. I'm very skeptical about this whole thing.
We went to where Lavos had fallen in hopes that we could beat it at its weakest, but before we could even do a thing it was already deep underground. Oddly enough, there was a new time gate to try out. I figured, what the hell, so we jumped inside.
We appeared in a place where it was obviously winter, but I wasn't quite sure what time period it was.
Robo jumped up and down and said, "the Time Gyro says...what?! 12,000 years in the past?! That was some trip!"
"Where this, Crono," asked Ayla.
She seemed scared and she was shivering in the cold. I wanted to just let her freeze, so she would have to share my body warmth, but girls like her just use you for what they can get and sue you for what they can't. I'm not a fool. She can sit at the end of time with the rest of these idiots.
Ayla disappeared and Marle was back in her place. Lucca was too much into fire and Frog was no longer warm-blooded. I don't think they could handle an ice age and out of all of my friends, depressing as it may be, Marle is the best choice for someone to cuddle with to share body heat. I'm damned sure I'm not going to cuddle with Frog. If I don't find Lavos soon I'm just going to fall on my sword and be done with it.
Marle was immediately freezing and pressed up against me. Eh, I guess it's not so bad as long as she doesn't talk.
We found our way to an odd device and I had Marle step into it. She disappeared, but then me and Robo got sucked in with her. When we reappeared it was no longer cold. Marle tried to get up close to me, but I just pushed her away. It's not cold anymore, sister.
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