I jumped into the Epoch, trying to leave Lucca and Robo behind, but they got in just in time and I was back at the end of time. All of my friends were there. All we had left in order to save humanity and its history was to fly into the Black Omen, destroy it and kill Lavos. Simple enough.
Hey! The old man is finally awake!
"Phew," said the old man. "My heart wasn't meant to see such things, Miss Ayla."
"Ayla sorry," said Ayla. "Ayla keep shirt on. Ayla promise."
I glanced at Magus and he smiled. Magus decided to let the old man live and keep Ayla from developing a guilt-driven personality disorder.
"We took care of all of those things you told us about," said Marle.
"Splendid," said the old man. "So, where is Cyrus?"
"We hath put him to rest and made things right," said Frog.
"Put him to rest?" said the old man tilting his head to one side in confusion. "You were supposed to find a way to recruit his invincible ghost to help you in the fight with Lavos. He could have defeated Lavos single-handedly."
"We hath fucked up," said Frog.
"No matter," said the old man. "There are many other ways to add the necessary strength needed to defeat Lavos. Magus, did you recruit your army of Mystics to help in the fight?"
"Um," said Magus, "No, I guess we killed Ozzie, Flea, Slash and my whole army in order to set things right, didn't we guys?"
"Oh, I see," said the old man. "Did you put a stop to the rebuilding of Fiona's forest?"
"Malfunction," said Robo. "I must have heard you incorrectly. Did you not mean contribute to the rebuilding of the forest?"
"No, you were supposed to stop her and her sheer determination," said the old man. "One of my servants has been tunneling deep down underneath the surface, but he's been having trouble keeping his focus due to Fiona and Marco's distraction. Once he has tunneled far enough one of our many options to defeat Lavos would be to use the power of the Sun Stone and the Rainbow Shell to create an explosive device. We simply drop it down near him, he ingests it and moments later..........BOOM!"
I quickly hid my rainbow behind my back and Lucca did the same with her gun. Frog tossed his prism helm aside. Marle was wearing the Prism Specs and she clearly had no idea what was going on, because she kept smiling like always.
"Of course," said the old man, "in order to create the device, Robo will need to seek out the technological guidance of his mother. She may need some coaxing, but she loves you, Robo. She'll come around. Oh, didn't you say you had done all of these things? I'll contact my servant in the desert to see if he's ready. I would have liked to fall back on the Invincible Cyrus Ghost or the Mystic Army in case this plan didn't work, but I understand why you guys did what you did. Wait one second. Have you destroyed the Black Omen yet? Until you do our plan won't work."
Yes, that's a good idea. No matter what, I want to get the hell out of here before the old man finds everything out. I dropped Robo and Lucca and decided to bring Magus and Ayla. I'm sure I can find something fun to do with these two. We jumped into the Epoch and flew back to the Present. There was the Black Omen looking nice and scary and now I have to fly the Epoch into it.
Uh, maybe we should go stock up on shelters and ether. Yeah, lots of ether.
"Quit being a pansy, Crono," said Magus.
I nodded and flew towards the Black Omen. When we got close enough, we put the Epoch into the Black Omen parking garage and jumped onto the first platform we could find.
In the first room we came to, Queen Milf was there waiting for us.
"Fools," she yelled. "Haven't you learned your lesson?! We are immortal! We shall live forever with Lavos, who devours this planet even as he sleeps. Within 999 years he'll become the ruler of this world!"
So, who's the ruler now?
"The Black Omen is a path which leads to Lavos," said the Queen. "It is a shrine which provides us with limitless power."
Does this psycho have split personalities or something? Why does she keep saying "us" and "we"? Great tits. Tiny brain. Bad breath. No queen of mine.
"As long as the mighty one reigns, your dreams are hopeless," said the Queen.
She summoned a weird creature and then said, "you should sacrifice yourself to the mighty Lavos! HAAhahahahaha!"
She faded away and we got to fight the creature. Good times. I guess the Queen must realize that we're traveling through time. She can't possibly think that we've somehow found a way to be immortal without giving our souls over to Lavos.
We killed the creature and looked at the path ahead of us. You're a real son-of-a-bitch, Magus.
"And you're not as clever as you think you are, Crono," said Magus.
So, where's your sister at?
Magus just shrugged his shoulders.
Do you think your mom even realizes that you're her son?
Magus picked me up by my collar and said, "enough with all the questions, ok?!"
We kept moving forward fighting our way through robots, mutants and idiots that liked to peep at us from behind shields. After awhile, I noticed that me and Magus were doing the bulk of the fighting and the only thing Ayla was doing was pickpocketing all the bad guys. She was finding some nice stuff, but this is a matter of life and death. I think we can worry about our capital once we're finished saving the world. Crazy woman.
When we came to a room with a strange pillar of light in it, I was a little apprehensive. It looked like some sort of transporter or elevator, but just in case, it's best to be careful. I sent Ayla back to the end of time and brought in Marle.
"Hi Crono," said Marle. "I was just thinking about-"
I shoved her into the pillar of light and she transported away.
Then, she came right back.
"Crono, you're so silly," said Marle. "What I was about to say, was-"
I sent her back to the end of time and brought Ayla back. We climbed into the transporter and it took us to a similar looking room.
After a long walk we came to a room with a bunch of free stuff and two of those stupid Nu guys. Man, these idiots are everywhere. In one of the next rooms we came to, I found myself face to face with two robots that looked EXACTLY like one of Lucca's inventions back at the fair. Aha! It's becoming all too clear to me now. So, there's been a spy among us this whole time, eh?
"Crono," said Magus. "It could just be a coincidence. Or, maybe my mom made the robots exactly like Lucca's to throw us off or get some of our more weak-minded members paranoid."
Magus.......I think you're the one who's reaching now. A coincidence? Your mom is just trying to throw us off? Those are Lucca's robots right there and it's plain to see. I say we bring her here and question her. I sent Ayla away and brought in Lucca.
"So, you need my brainpower, huh Crono," said Lucca.
I pointed at the robots and crossed my arms.
"Hey, those look exactly like Gato," said Lucca.
Magus sighed and said, "Crono thinks you're working with Queen Zeal against us and he considers this to be proof."
Magus rolled his eyes at me.
"What," said Lucca in disbelief. "How could you think that about me, Crono?"
I pointed at the robots again. Lucca's face got red and a few tears came out of her eyes, but she wasn't sad at all.
"I'VE BEEN POURING MY HEART AND SOUL INTO HELPING YOU SAVE THIS PLANET AND BECAUSE THERE ARE SOME ROBOTS IN HERE THAT LOOK LIKE GATO, YOU'RE ACCUSING ME OF BEING A SPY?"
Magus laughed and said, "I told him he was crazy. If I was to accuse you of being a spy it would be for how little you help in battles. That weak little gun of yours and your stupid fire magic that hardly does anything at all."
Lucca stopped looking at me and she started chasing Magus around the Black Omen firing her gun at him. I looked at the Gato-look-alikes and they were as confused as I was.
Instead of dealing with the situation, I just sent Magus and Lucca back to the end of time to fight it out and brought Frog and Marle in to help for the moment.
"Grribbit, I see we have invaded the inner environs of the Black Omen, grribbit," said Marle.
Frog gave her a dirty look. Marle giggled.
Frog sighed and said, "thou hast Queen Leene's sense of humor."
And her cute ass.
After several minutes of walking, I got curious and sent Frog back to the end of time in return for Magus. When he appeared, he was on the ground with his legs up over his head, stuffed into his shirt and his arms were twisted back and tied together. He looked like a poorly made pretzel.
"C, C, Crono, help me," said Magus in obvious pain. "Lucca went berserk back at the end of time. I, I'm in a great deal of pain. Please help me!"
Marle giggled and we untied Magus, who had learned his lesson about insulting Lucca. Poor guy. Getting beat up by a girl. It must be hard to deal with.
The Black Omen seemed endless and I was getting sick of walking. We ran into these guys that looked a lot like that Heckran character from back in the day. They were pretty tough. I had managed to kill off one of them, but Marle was knocked out in the process. The other one was pretty badly hurt, but he managed to put Magus on the floor. It was one-on-one and if I didn't win this would be it. All I needed was one good strike and he knew it, so he backed into a corner and closed his eyes.
Before I killed him, I had an idea pop into my head. I tapped him on the shoulder and motioned for him to follow me. We walked over to Magus and Marle, who were still unconscious, and I took off all of their clothes. The Heckran-looking guy backed away from me and gave me a funny look. Once I started to put Marle's poofy blue pants on Magus he understood and started laughing. Then I put Magus' purple cape and cool-looking magician outfit on Marle and we revived them both.
Magus stood up and examined his surroundings.
"Woah, those guys were tough," said Magus. "That was a close one."
He noticed that one of them was still alive and he moved to attack. That was when he realized that he was holding a crossbow. Both me and the monster fell on the ground laughing. Magus looked at himself and realized that he was wearing poofy blue pants.
Marle was giggling as well. For the rest of my life, I still can't help but laugh whenever the image of Magus standing there pissed off wearing Marle's poofy blue pants and shirt pops into my head. At the time I knew it could mean the end of our friendship, but I sent Magus back to the end of time and replaced him with Lucca.
The monster left us alone, probably just glad that I didn't kill him.
"Why is Marle wearing Magus's clothing," said Lucca.
I smiled and Marle just kept giggling. Lucca seemed confused. We waited a few minutes and then I sent Lucca back to the end of time for Magus.
"I hate you, Crono," said Magus as he and Marle exchanged clothing. "The old man just gave me a lecture about being true to my inner self and not fighting this side of me. He also said that he always knew I was one of those kind of guys even when I was growing up. The old man was lucky I didn't have my scythe with me."
Eventually, we came to a room where a baby Lavos was at and we started fighting it. I knew we were getting near the end.
In the next room I saw something that I hadn't expected. There were little dolls of every member of our group except Magus floating in some strange devices. I thought about stealing the Ayla one to put in my room, but I figured I could wait until later. Who knows what would happen if I moved one of them.
In the back of the room, the Queen appeared in front of the broken Mammon Machine.
"Behold, my pretties," she said. "Destiny, in its most brutal form."
She must mean her sagging breasts.
"I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT MY SAGGING BREASTS," yelled the Queen.
Magus laughed and Marle just thought she was freaking out. I guess the Queen can read minds as well.
"Yes, Crono, I can," said the Queen. "And I must admit that some of the thoughts you've had about me are disgusting. I can't seem to reach the mind of this false prophet. Hmmmm, I wonder.......anyway, as I was saying. All the dreams that might have been. All the happiness, and sorrow, you might have experienced. Gone forever!!! For you there will be no tomorrow!"
We've already been to tomorrow, lady. It sucks anyway.
"The Black Omen transcends time and space," said Queen Milf. "Waiting for Lavos to awaken! Destiny has led you here. And here you shall rest forever, unless you can defeat me, and smash the Omen!" Hmmmmmmm, she just told us exactly what we needed to do in order for us to win. Maybe deep down she's searching for our help in getting away from Lavos. That would explain what the old man meant by finding someone close to one of us who needed our help. I might go as far as to call her a very Entity-like person.
"Crono, don't start that crap again," said Magus. "Let's just kill her and get this over with."
"Come, dear friends," said Queen Milf. "Perhaps I can persuade Lavos to share his dreams with you! Did I say dreams? I meant his eternal nightmare!"
Now she's just trying to sound cool. I hate people like that. Let's kick her ass and get this over with. Man, I sound cool.
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